You can't force yourself.

"You can’t force yourself to grow, develop, change, evolve, or become. You can only open yourself to what life brings and allow yourself to be taught and to be changed. Whatever your circumstances are, there are lessons embedded that will enable you to become your best self. But this doesn’t have anything to do with outward achievement. The most effective lessons are the ones that seem to set you back; the only success that matters is your success in transcending fear and maintaining peace within yourself."

–Kathryn Lynard Soper